tuesday (bad day)

feeling so upset the whole day
i think go out will be better
met little gf, xiaodi and jon for supper
i force myself to eat alot when i dun feel like eating at all
keep telling myself to stay strongggg
wells..at least with them i feel so much better
but when i'm home...
start over again..ZZzzz
...
[i thinks alot when i decide sth,
just becoz i take it seriously nt that i dun wan care..
so just DO NOT force mi when i'm STILL thinking..
i might make a wrong decision..
dun wanna regret in e end tgt...
if u realli love mi,
u should understand mi and just be there..]
.
it happened to mi lot times
and i finaly shout it out this time!
.
so wanna wait or nt..
it's up to u now
i can't force u, too...

28*12*2009

wake up wake up..
lolz went out today before e sunset
LOL...so long nv earli go out alr XD
went Marina wanted watch Avatar
but strange..monday so many ppl everywhere=.=!
den eat pizza alr think of where can watch
hmmm since town jam like hell=.=
went kallang there e shopping mall
wow..1st time been there..
didnt realize e ice-skating is just there
haha! i wan to go soon!!!!
miss ice-skating alot><
...
Avatar is a long but super nice show
it seems so real
and the most weird part is,.
i dreamed of that place abt one yr ago!
gosh!!! once but so clear...
the colour all that same..just some image diff
and it was in e sky too..omgomg
i was fking shocked...
...
after movie went slack since dunno wher to go
..
sunrise time den back=D
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[wat am i doing?
is this realli wat i wan?!
wat's wrong with mi??
stil dunno why]

Sat

alot things happened tonight
i onli noe i'm fking stressed up now
i'm not drunk, surprisingly also
but i nt gonna say wat's happening here
=.=! lazy plus too luan
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[i'm realli enjoying my single life now!
sorriew!!! i'm nt ready for a new r/s i guess]

x-mas day

phone keep ringing but i'm tired just wan sleep
so put silent..lol..wake up so many msg=.=!
nt planning to go out today=]
tired plus main reason my eye hurts
pain, red and zhong=.=!
wake up online
was chatting with jianle
i just told him i out of sudden feel like eating kfc=.=
but i nt going out so i go cook better
haha..just going to cook onli
he suddenly call mi, i nv pick up
den he msn mi say open door???
wtf i was like WAT?!..huh??
totalli lost and blur like hell=.=
didnt noe he use phone to online=.=zzz
gosh, i look so cuay la..
den i faster grab a jacket go open door
OMG! he's standing outside and with my kfc!=.=
den he say he going find fren around this area so went off le
yummiii~~~~
x-mas's kfc=D..NICE~
used to that when i was young...=)
so touched someone actualli sent it to my door=]
THANK YOU JIANLE!!!
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and
MERRY XMAS TO EVERYONE!^-^V

xmas-eve

hao bu rong yi wake up
rush prepare go meet eugene at 969 bus stop
go town tamp meet ppl den go simei eat
den cab to expo
gosh! superrrr alottttt ppllllll
think becoz of chc also cele there=.=zz
ok la quite fun
alot ppl recieve Christ tonight also
...
den cab down st james find huihui
it's nt so pack like wat i imagine=.=!
i think coz ppl tot is pack so nv come XD
her korkor crazy open 7 bottles=.=
den drink drank drunk..lolz everyone so high
met Regina!! gosh last time saw her is dunno how long ago
fun part is last last last yr i also cele x-mas with her!
this yr count down with her also! LOLz!=.=!
...
den find jianle ..den he sent mi home..(tks alot^^V)
[photo all in fb, lazy upload here=.=!]

Wednes

nonsense childish with jeref online till 11am=.=
12 den falling asleep
slept till 7plus pm
online..wa biang
freaking alot ppl ask mi go ladys' night=.=!
DUN WAN DUN WAN I DUN WAN!!><
gosh! i just wan chill and relax =[
haha sound weird right ,.
1st time so many ppl jio but i dun wan to go=p
actualli main reason is becoz i'm going church tml
scare cannot tahan=.=!
so end up i decide slack at yishun with some frenx
drank so many water and ate so many food=.=zzz
HAHA! seriously gonna fat soon
...
enough of nonsenses,
time to be serious in e coming 2010=]

Tues

wanted eat at 925 since i damn bored
den today is "Dong Zhi" so alot ppl eating
so went xin wang eat
den discuss wher to go
end up decide go safra sing 2 hours also shuang=.=
den sing finish liao back 925 eat again! LOL!
nowadays i keep eating i dunno why sia!
die la! gonna fat again soon!=.=Zzz
.


they say the biggest one is jon,
middle one is xiaodi, smallest one is pearl
and the santa claus is mi=.=!!Zzz


LOL she can't reach e smallest one
so funny XD..hahaz

omg! we did e same poses without telling each others AGAIN!!

i wondering if we were twins in e previous life=.=!

biao gao yinggg~~~~

super random!!

i think i should bring a camera out next outing=.=!

everytime use e lousy hp take i wan cry alr..T_T

Monday

morning before i sleep,
teacher msg mi say need mi go down school
sign another form for jurong shipyard
den i stil like nt sleepy(around 8plus)
so just go down lo..
sign alr reach home around 9am
try to sleep..think 10 den asleep=.=zzz
den 7pm wake up
nth to do again!=.=Zzzz
den online do this and that
wan go out so ask xiaodi and jon
end up went nearest kpt eat since raining
den go mama shop buy ice-cream and things
planning to slack under blk
den just nice my little gf havent sleep
so ask her come down
slack near her place there
wow..gt more than 3 police car came in sia
they walking and running around
dunno wat happen sio..O_O
but they nv check us=.=Zzz
so kpo wanted to ask wat happen Xp
den we fooling this and that with singing songs
just like wat we usually do=.=!
and now i'm home and dunno wat to do agian!
LOL!

Sun

afternoon heard mum bring relative home
and i stil half leg in my lala land
and till evening time..i heard she lock my room door
(tt means she's going out nt coming back)
i suddenly wake up go kitchen saw her
ya..she's going out alr..
she told mi she gt dabao food
and nt coming back tonight..expected
wells..after she go off
on laptop...online...
suddenly feel so empty
alone in e e empty house
ya feeling lonely?
out of sudden bahx..
maybe go out will be better
den wendi say wan meet ppl near my place so can meet
but i dun feel like meeting stranger..ya
end up just nice ivan call her say dylan wan ask both of us out
but it's actualli ivan moody..
den they go find wendi 1st den came yishun find mi
go chongpang eat, ivan wan go pub drink and watch soccer
but all pub close..so went to 100+kpt
order seafood eat again
haha..
since dylan tml gt work so finish soccer we go back le
...
[cheer up, ivan..it's fate=]
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知道没什么好伤心de，
可是为什么眼泪还是不停de流
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i..dun dare to think
dun dare to face it?
keep it inside also like tt
expressed it out even worse
so tell mi wat am i suppose to do?!!

[x-mas is coming and i'm down with sickness again=((]

Sat

couldnt asleep last night
wake up prepare go Hikari
so tired!!...nearly took over stop in mrt
throat kinda pain pain
but surprising today stil can hit high tone
today sing "lan tian" by xiaohu laoshi
1st time use all zhen ying,
while kinda emo-ing at tt time
i think tt's e reason why i can hit it today
even before lesson i try also cannot=.=!zzz
i hope i can improve asap=D
gonna push myself alr=p
...
den..party time!=D
lol! today freaking lot of ppl everywher!
and i was so shagged=.=~~~
hope i can asleep tonight=/
..

[happy bd to Mac^^]

想寫首歌 by范安婷(超級星光大道6)

眯着眼睛 迎接早晨
站在镜子前面的我还是那老样子
一张旧照片 和一夜的沉淀
让我觉得可以准备好一场小失恋
有些事情 闷在心里
一直拖一直拖 一直拖一直拖着下去
忍到星期天我们再见面
早已经没有想跟你和好的意愿
但是 想找个方法来纪念
但是 今天过后不能再怀念
想写首歌给你 但找不到想你的声音
叫你也只剩背影
不相信你 也不需要你的同情
最好能只能在回忆里
看见你 看不见和你走在一起
让你给别人去珍惜

Monday

meet my little gf go prawning
so long nv see her
and she's stil so small and cute Xp
hahax!!
den since her frenx gt sth on so we nv bbq today
den went bishan meet javier tianhao and her other frenx awhile
and since they going play lan=.=!
and we gt no wher to go liao!lolz
den xiaodi ask mi go study corner pei him study!lolz!!!
den jon also ask wher am i..david also nth better to do
so let us all bored ppl meet up!
yup so long nv meet tgt liao..HAHA
den discus wher to go=.=zzzzz
end up decide go esso buy drinks and food go dam
den talk cock..lame here and there
xu xu time! so went kpt
den dunno wher to go again=.=!
since it's late alr so just slack awhile den go back le=]
..
tml meeting gf again^^
sing!!!
lala~~~
gonna be crazy=.=!

Friday

wake up prepare
wait for shit finish work
den he cab come yishun den cab to jurong=.=
attend jaslyn's wedding
ya.. finaly she settle down le
wells, happy for her too=]
hope she can be happy ever after bahx..
den left earli since daihan cui-ing us
den cab to mrt den go yck cab down tomson =.=!
wa biang..today like cab everywher=.=!Zzz
tot they wan go eat but end up went drink-.-!
HAHA! I NV DRINK!! =X
amazing right=p..hahax
lalalalala~
just very tired... wanna go kun alr
bluring all e way
[Zzzzzzzz~~~]

should i?

nowadays, i feel God alot
ya dunno how to say..
just kinda gt e feeling
and thingy happened..
and i feel like going back to Him
ya maybe it's realli e time alr
i "ran" for so long le..now should go back le
and so out of sudden eugene hong add mi in fb
nv contact like 3-4 yrs alr=.=
wells..last time he ah beng den i very guai
now he say i become ah lian he very guai
LOL!..he ask mi go church on xmas..
yup maybe i should go bahx

sry!!!

gosh!
i totalli dunno wat happen last night
till i saw all e msg and i realize i did alot stoopid stuff! T_T!!
omg!!!!!!! why sia
wat's wrong with mi><
i didnt wan to get drunk de , but end up....zzzzzz
wells..i onli rmb tt i msg him,
den i think after some reply den i "dead" alr=.=
.....
sry kelvin and wendi! i noe u 2 are very angry with mi
but i promise this would be e last time le!!
and thanks for took care of e stoopid mi!=P
i tried my best not to sad or drunk le,
if i nv try hard ,. this time sure much worse than last time
i'm sorry i just run off like this alone
i think coz i dun wan to let ppl see (.........)
....
but! i dunno why e hell i go call brynner=.=!
maybe onli to this best fren, i can be myself
ya ..should be...
sry to disturb u from ur sleep=p
but realli very touched tt u actualli came down to pei mi
and led mi fa xie awhile..thank Q~ ^^
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once again
SORRY ppl!
i seriously dunno wat i did last night after i drunk
wun happen le..no more le=]
ya, he's right.,it's better to suffer e pain now than drag
so..ya...it's over=]

bad thing and GOOD thing!=D

bad thing:
earli in e morning,
awake by one sms-
"u better delete ur blog entry i tell u.
if nt things wont be nice.
u wan u can try."
waw! i'm SO SCARED!!!!
i'm telling u now!
u wan play hard, come i play with u!
i not e weak mi anymore!
i tell u!
i wun delete my blog nor anything becoz of u this madman!
i tot u cold just leave mi alone
but see!onli less than one month time
come and make problem again!
haix, why can't u just let mi go
and go on with each others life
.....

good things!:
when i back to sleep
around 4pm i saw school's calling
so i pick up,.
guess wat!?
I GOT MY SCHOLARSHIP!!!!!
waaaaaaaaa i'm sooooo happy!!!!!!!
jurong shipyard here i come!
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[seems like my prayer stil works^^
thank You! nw i noe tt this is realli Ur plan=]
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[quiting smking/
3 days nv smk le
give mi some times=]

to my freaking EX!

screw it!
keep telling mi about wat others saying abt mi
do u think tt this can make mi feel regret or bad?!
dun dream la!
ask mi delete ur frenx on msn and all tt
stil ask mi delete my blog
for FCUK?!
there's NTH they can fking kpo abt!
i break up with u alr so no point kpo-ing ppl's life right!
i like who now is my problem not u!
i tahan u for so long alr now i finaly can be single!
who wan to be with a bomb which can explode anytime!?!
u ppl dunno anything so pls dun kpo!mind ur own business!!
so watever i wants to do now not urs or ur FREN's FKING problem!!!
listen! we are totalli finished!
dun come and interact my life anymore!NO MORE!
i tot we can stil be fren but fking impossible now!
so just...
GET AWAY FROM MI!


[whoever is e kpo-kia,.
i dun care who e hell are u
but pls stop kpo-ing ppl's daiji
care ur own business pls!=]

Monday bluex

nv go school today..
thought very long whether wan to post not
but realli feeling damn fk up
going crazy alr
...let's see
wat if ur "good fren" interested in e person
whom u click/crushed or going to be with
and it's always,. means nt 1 or 2 times onli
wat will u do?
i would try to push e guy to her
and give up e guy for her
ya, guy onli wat.. i can find a better one
but if keep going like this am i kinda "dui bu qi" myself?
wells i noe tt in my heart there's onli one person now
but i just keep trying to let it go
but this is wat always happens to mi...
(.......) speechless
wat can i do!

Sunday

this is to e person who i dun wish to hurt
...
wells as i seeing e msg u ask ur fren to send mi
i makes mi realize tt the feeling is totalli e same as
how i feel for e person who i like now
... the part when u say u alr noe it's impossible
but u just wanna let e feeling out so u feel better?
ya this part u are more yong gan than mi
but maybe becoz i'm a gal
i noe it's impossible too but i dun dare to tell him
since it's impossible so i guess there's no point telling
but ya, maybe keep everything inside is realli too hard to let it go
i dunno by when den i can make it
so i guess u are much stronger than mi
so go on man.. dun be so negative le
when ur fren tell mi tt e next outing afraid tt u wun be there
come on, dun take it so hard pls
u can even have e courage to tell mi ur feelx
why can't u just face it, get over it..
u can do it!=]
i just hope after some times, u will be fine,
and back with us again
no matter wat ppl say, just heck care.
be a man! =D

Friday

today jurong shipyard scholarship interview
gosh! i'm e 1st one
and i was in e meeting room kn questioned abt 1 hr!
=.=!!ZZzzz...they ask soooo many weird weird de ques lo
i was so blur..
i just answer watever comes to my mind lo
lala...so stressed up=.=
den when Adib came back,
tell mi e interviewer says i'm nt bad for answering e ques
huh? diaox.. i tot i failed e interview again lor
wells... let god decide den=/
hmmmm...hope can get it this time, bt can't also LL=p
den wait wait wait for e rest to finish
is around 7.30pm!=.= lolz
den went north point eat kfc!=D
wa, today yishun like soooo many ppl sio=.=
crowded everywher=.=
waaa..now is 9pm and i just home=.=!
gg~

photox

went bugis there drink with

nonok, kelvin, kazuya

wear till so GUAI go family dinner=.=!

Fire P.K-ing on e dance floor Xp

and i did it so fast!=D

like usual=.= must take out e stoopid candle

dun try miii!! XD.. cut cut cut

[ice-cream cake by wendi=.=!so hard to cut..lolz]

make a wishhhhhh~~

e ladies and e guys

lolz before going out, i made e white 1st but end up put e violet one=.=

Thurs

finaly!! short term exam is over
gosh..the test paper was so "stranger" to mi=.=!
and everyone was so blurrrr dunno wat to do
i look at e paper, e paper look at mi..cheese~~
lolz!!!!...maybe my brain realli toooo long nv work
den suddenly!! i feelx hungry!=D
LOL!!...so i wan to eat!!!!haha
tt's why i start to hurry up my mind
wow..tt was cool
i out of sudden noe how to do!!
wooooot~~
den do doo dooo....
teacher pass by also say "WA!u noe hw2do ah!?"
i was like...=.=!"yeaa..i also didnt believe..lol"
den he was telling around tt i noe how to do[speechless]
den ppl all come to mi [expected]
i just keep on do and do..
and when i starting to think of e last question
den teacher say no need do last question coz we sure dunno?
wa lau..let mi try!!!!
HAHA! i'm just tt obstinate! *laugh* Xp
yeah!!! i did it lor!!!
den he keh siao say "wah, A star goes to u alr"
anyhow!=.=!!
[ehhz, my teacher is just like this..lolz]
...
finaly do finished!!!
i can go eat le!!!!
but canteen onli left damn FEW food=.=zzzz
nvm can eat happy alr =D
..
den walk home with hamie they all.
[TIRED le!]
tml stil gt interview! T_TV
good luck to mi, lolz
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hmmm,
dunno why
nowadays i...
kinda dunno how to control my ego
my temper always easily go up=/
yea, kinda angry with myself, too
><
[hope everything'll be fine]

Sat-Monday

after hikari's event
go meet wendi n huihui with didi go rebel
den meet daihan and wilfred inside
drink drank drunk=.=!
lolz
i onli noe i keep drinking
wanting to make myself drunk
since my bd nv realli drunk?=.=lolz
ya finaly i doh
i onli rmb didi bring mi to riverside
den i keep crying and crying?=.=!
ya, was realli down
wanting to talk to laoshi
so went down hikari
ya, laoshi sleep alr of coz
feel so sorry to disturb him and ah gong
and didi was so worried
sry and tks alot for took care of e dead drunk mi=p
morning i couldnt take it so go home take medi
and den i gone into my long long sleep
till mum came back..i dunno wat medi she feed mi again=.=!
thus i over dose=[
monday morning den wake up, have to go for test
i was like walking without spirit=.=!
den noon time recieve laoshi de call
ya talked abt 40 mins
and i'm feeling realli better now=]
....yea
and have to tks4 e ppl who worried4 mi tt nite.
-[laoshi, kelvin didi, pearlyn gf, daughter celestine,
shueting and shitat]-
realli xiexie ni men, wo ai ni muen^-^V
...
and ya, last but not least
sry for e disturb to that "someone" in e middle of e nite
hope u do well in ur last paper=]
jiayoh
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i'll be fine
&
moving on=)))