没那么简单

mum flying on Sun
and she going fren house stay tml
yup, i have to learn how to live alone
and fully be an adult now..
if everything success, start work on 3rd of May
i hope everything gonna be fine
currently i'm feeling e pressure alr
i noe it gonna be freaking tough & stress

一个人的生活真的不容易
事情不再会是那么的简单
如果将会是两个人来承担
我希望你不会是我的负担

i'm really tired of trying..

dark thursday

till around morning den sleep
didnt feel like sleeping at all
had e feeling sth's going wrong
was so blue and moodless,
my heart was making fun of mi,
i could even hear my heart beats..
lie on bed, forget hw long i used to fall asleep
an auto wake up on 16:00..the sky was like usual
as i lai chuang-ing...it turns darker and darker
till i couldnt see anything..
wake up on light...
look outside window it's going to rain
soft thunder sounds..
on pc..online..fb...1st think i saw was..(....)
i'm seriously speechless...
and it's so dramatic,.the rain just fall heavily
my mind was empty..blank...
the thunder become louder and louder
sounds like e lion roar
so near...it's nv been so near before
usually i'll scare or scream...
but i'm totalli feeless..
the lightning is just right outside my window
i could even feel the shakes
told myself to be strong while i noe i can't
expected, tears drop..out of controls...

it's around 2 days ago i just told mum abt him
she asked mi to give up sooner or later
wells i noe i must, but i'm so nt ready..yet....
and she's coming back now..
i'm have to sorrow down my tears
and hope..it would nv come back


i dun need alcohol nor anything to numb myself
becos,..i'm alr numb
.
.
.
she's back,.
she walked under e freaking rain,
just to bring e food back for mi
she fell down somemore..
i noe she loves mi more than anyone do
i wonder how am i going to survive without her soon
i forced myself to eat
while crying inside my heart
my eyes are wet..i'm trying very hard not to let it drop
dun drop ..pls

wat am i doing~?!

i always use *sth* to fill the vacuum inside my heart
but end up i'll still feel empty
can't i be independent abit more?
seriously i reflects on myself,
i realli can't be all alone
i'm nt a kid anymore,
i have to learn how to be an adult and,.
live alone...
i must..
but tell mi how
><
*haish*
.
.
.

[i noe we are impossible
but it's impossible to forget him,too]

wed

1st time go SSC walk walk
went eat den go daiso
like usual, buy alot things..lolz
damn random la
i saw one cute cherry keychain so i bought for shueting
den when i reach home suddenly wendi sms ask mi i like mickey is it
den i ask why she say she catching bearbear got a pair of mickey
LOL! funny la.. i bought some random stuff for some random person
den gt ppl more random than mi=.=V
stoopid karma-___-ZZz

Sunday

just kinda missing him badly today out of sudden
whole day was so blue
was reading my own blog pass year's posts
wondering why i still can't stop thinking about him
*sigh*
and when i realize sth not funny-.-V
as i always day dream abt him
there's sth so "coincident" happened
tsk tsk
seriously speechless ..
gosh, why gt such thing one..
and why is god always trying to make "fun" of mi=/sobx
how i wish i could realli.....
haish
forget it
it was just a dream


[好想,.好想....]

good friday

since today is good friday
went to a catholic church(st joseph) to have a look
wondering how it was like
wells it was very hot as every1 holding uber big candles=.=!
i nv see so many ppl surround a church before..lolz!
crowded till outside e church also gt ppl praying
hmmm maybe it's e onli church which
takes Jesus out from e cross and carry him around
-___-|| hmmmmm bwg
den had dinner at bugis den bus home le
tml is a busy and tiring day-.-V
good luck to mi
Zzz~