dark thursday

till around morning den sleep
didnt feel like sleeping at all
had e feeling sth's going wrong
was so blue and moodless,
my heart was making fun of mi,
i could even hear my heart beats..
lie on bed, forget hw long i used to fall asleep
an auto wake up on 16:00..the sky was like usual
as i lai chuang-ing...it turns darker and darker
till i couldnt see anything..
wake up on light...
look outside window it's going to rain
soft thunder sounds..
on pc..online..fb...1st think i saw was..(....)
i'm seriously speechless...
and it's so dramatic,.the rain just fall heavily
my mind was empty..blank...
the thunder become louder and louder
sounds like e lion roar
so near...it's nv been so near before
usually i'll scare or scream...
but i'm totalli feeless..
the lightning is just right outside my window
i could even feel the shakes
told myself to be strong while i noe i can't
expected, tears drop..out of controls...

it's around 2 days ago i just told mum abt him
she asked mi to give up sooner or later
wells i noe i must, but i'm so nt ready..yet....
and she's coming back now..
i'm have to sorrow down my tears
and hope..it would nv come back


i dun need alcohol nor anything to numb myself
becos,..i'm alr numb
.
.
.
she's back,.
she walked under e freaking rain,
just to bring e food back for mi
she fell down somemore..
i noe she loves mi more than anyone do
i wonder how am i going to survive without her soon
i forced myself to eat
while crying inside my heart
my eyes are wet..i'm trying very hard not to let it drop
dun drop ..pls