remeber

realize that if u loved some1 for 1yr, it takes around 10yrs time to forget.
but if some1 loved u/treated u special and u didn't really treasure,
as time pass by, e more u gone thru, e more u rmb him/her,
cos there's no1 else can treat u like he/she did.
thus, treat ppl good and care for e one u love.
because, u gonna be rmb FOREVER~ =]

不得不爱

很多结了婚的女人都绝不允许自己的老公有外遇，
可是往往都是为了肉体上的出轨，而不是精神上的。
其实，大错特错了。
如果男人只是想找另外一个肉体上的乐趣，
那就代表他只是男人本性发了，
最多也只是被那女人的外表肉体所吸引，
他们并不动心。
可是，如果是精神上出轨，那就要小心了，
这就很有可能代表他已不爱了，会爱上别人了。
最后的逗留也只是被逼的责任。
所以，女人不能只在乎男人有没有在肉体上对不起你，
因为那并不代表他不爱你了。
而要多注意精神方面的，
因为，精神上的出轨，就代表了离开～

All my fault...

Which mother fucker tells u pregnant is just an fking excuse?!
Ask him fking to be pregnant lar!
Yea, it was allllll my fault to be pregnant.,
I can't control my emotions also is my wrong!
My fault.,,,it's all womens' fault to be pregnant.,
We deserved all these, we deserved all!..
I wanted all these to be happen,
All I wan de,.
My fault, all my fault,,,mine.,,
MINE!!!~

Y u still can't just understand ...
Alright be it, let mi deserve all....

Where's my love~

I miss e time when I ask u to go west, u dun dare to go east.,
I miss e time when I ask u to sit, u dun dare to stand.,
I miss that pair of lovely eyes, which I can't see anymore
I miss e time when I'm being e "bf" u were e "gf"
...., things just change after all.,
Where's my 100% stoopid idiot.,?
Where's ., my love....~



.
Even if u were like my "dog" in ppl's eyes,
But being ur wife's dog is becos u fully love/respect her and being a real man
.,
But being a dog of e other one's only making urself lose ur zun yan
And makes mi feel upset...

Cries from women

A man will nv understands a woman when she's pregnant and how she feels
He'll only thinks that she's being too much, selfish or unreasonable.,
When she also could not control her emotions as before
Is this what women deserved?
So many cases I had seen
And now, I know y .,
Y a man would change their mind and attitude towards their wife or even having mistress outside
And y a woman would chose to leave in e end.,
It's not about sex or love no more
It's about understanding ....
.
.
This is a woman's life when they chose marraige and kids?
Tell mi I'm wrong... Prove mi .,
When I noe it's destiny~

Love game

Life is just a game,
It's to see whether how u plays e part
...
U always say if intro mi one game I sure wins u in e end
That's becos when I started interest in e game,
I'm playing my part.
Can tell tt everytime u starts a new game and ended it so fast
Becos u sian Le,
Or can even do hack to make urself feels good,
After all throws it away..
Wells, that's just e small example of how u treat "love" this word
...
Yet, wishx just e carex more from u become so hard
Y can't u ti liang and understand e mind of a preg woman's heart
And that person is just mi...
...
I dun hate u,
I hate I love u,
Cos loving u can only cos trouble,
Or even less and lesser cares from u
...
Sigh,.~
it's all my fault,
My fault to accept ur previous love,
My fault to love u back,
My fault to ... Even carrying ur child
...
So even if one day I die,
I dun die for u,
I die for myself!~

Y am I with u

The reason y I chose to be with u
Is simply becos u could love mi with all u can
No one else can do as e same way as u
But after all, u had changed.
Yes, ppl might change as they grow up,
But if being mature is just by loving less or lesser
So being in love is immature?
Den I would rather stay immature with u for e rest of my life
..,
And so, I can't find e fully love from u anymore as before
.,
The reason y I fell in love with u is just simply becos
U can love mi truly and silly,
Now, i can't find e reason to carry on my love for u
,.
U're no longer my "idiot"
.
.
I'll only love e stoopid idiot of mine,
So there isn't any now,
Where's my love,
It's gone, and it's gonna gone forever~

It's all about my mind

Who doesn't wants their husband to be rich?
I do .
I no need him to be rich,
Cos when u're rich,
Meaning u have to put alot alot times and stress on it
And so, where's e love and cares for e family?
Thus, if let mi choose from rich and time for e love ones,
What would I choose ? :)
And of cos, I also dun wish to see him slacking at home, doing nth
And of cos, no one wants their husband to be useless or poor
So by wanting a normal stable pay and job from him is it so hard?
Not say I'm not working or I gonna Xiang Shou my TaiTai life ,
I'm working at e same time supporting this little family with u,
Isn't it very hard? :)
U have stress and pressure , so do I? :)
.....
Had e parents meeting e night before,
So what they were saying was all about our childish or immature thinking
So if by thinking mature is by losing e "love" in between one another,
So I would like to stay e way they thinks that immature thinking
Which is only "my thinking"
Yes, I'm stubborn,just as e way I born,
I just wan to maintain my "love" and not by doing sth fishy to lose it all
So are they showing e good examples??
One side's talking about a divorce after yrs of "can't stand each others"
And got their own so called "gf/bf"
Oh come on, so u think by doing all these or being a fake "happy family" in front of ur child she'll feel happy?
The other side leh? No need to talk about it no more.
So, this is to be mature and change broken hearts or broken family in e future?
Wells, I believe we're nt e only ones whom have family problems
The ppl around us? All over e world? ...
I had seen too much. ..
So why would I be another one of this.,
Yes life is CanKu and XianShi de,
If being XianShi can only buy back money, houses, car, or anything u wan to buy
But can it buy back love???
Love's gone means gone, it wun come back and find u
So why don't we treasure and try to keep it with us in e 1st place?
Not by doing all "shitx" to lose it all???
....
If I wan I rich future or "rich family" ,
I won't chose to be with u in e 1st place:)
.,
Just imagine in e future everynight I'm waiting with our kids
Just for ur return for a dinner with us,
It would become so hard, cos u wun have the time
Busying with ur job or blablabla...
In this case, y didn't I being single?
Or even being with some rich man and shaking my leg at hm doing spa.,

So last words about my mind-
I will not choose to be rich,
If being rich's gonna lose
Ur time & cares for e family
And so our love..

Mrs Tay

Angela "mila" Chow
is Married to
Shawn "kazuya" Tay

and now become "Mrs Tay"

wth=.=!

has realise that it's true that
ITE students can do(practical)better than poly students,
but their theory is better la of cos..
but freak~ i'm nt from poly!
so stop asking mi to do e things(office work)
which i dun even noe a single shit=.=!
and i just realise why e school wanted to change our course name
when we were graduating(from marine offshore engineering-technology=.=!)
cos we were learning e engineering stuff when e poly course was tech=.=
but we are nt even an "ass" engineer=.=!
it's like what they learnt is wat i'm doing,
wat we learnt is wat they doing=.=!!!!
wells since we were e 1st graduates from this (Y)course,
sua=.=! wa eh lun..LOL!

dun rely on any1 but urself

got e below part from my colleague:

如果将本身的“幸福”，完全寄托在另一个人身上

在现实生活里，是很难获得幸福的

这应该是心态的问题，和对象是谁无关
...
“我将自己的未来交给你咯”

这句话，不管出自男或女，应该是信赖的成分多一点，而不是缺乏独立能力的依赖

过度的依赖，伴随的是失去自我

这样的幸福，很不稳定，怎谈得上“安全感”

安全感这种东西，其实主要是自己给自己的

work work work

ok, i think i should post sth before this blog rotted=.=
...
well well well, OT OT OT!!!~
gg-ed, lucky i still new, so for currently, nt a must to stay
hmmm, i'm e 1st gal of my section in e 40 yrs =.=
of cos gt gals at e other departments la
we are like aliens in e company=.=V
havent start work yet ppl alr known mi , wth. LOL!
although i'm "weird" in their eyes,
and they even talk about mi as a "him"
but ok la , mostly of them are kinda nice to mix with
they say i'm e most frenly gal they seen so far=.=!
wells, as i said is they dun dare to talk to them nt they nt frenly
haha, had fun chit chats with e uni graduates and old engineers
guessing about where is my hometown become e hot topic=.=
...
so far so good, i tot office work gonna be unfamiliar and tough for mi
but ok la, now still easy, long way to go=)
.
tired everyday
sleep earli wake up before e birds=.=
healthy life style, LOL!
oyasumi~

ex=/=no more frenx

wells, funny that 2 of my ex talk to mi today
complaining about their gf or life or wat so ever
they were saying, it's realli good to have mi as a good fren
cos i could gave alot of suggestions.
wells, actualli i'm just being straight,got wat say wat,
and sometimes i scold or saying things tt not nice to hear
but after some times,they will come back and thank mi=D
wells.,
it's realli good to be frenx=]
why can't just let those "ex" become good fren
no fate being tgt, no point to become enemy also right=]
we can realise e mistakes and learn e lesson
..
i'm glad tt u guys realise i'm realli good
HAHA! feeling so shameless nw=pPp

since e day i met u,
wat u good at is to make mi mad,fed up,upset,disappointing
.
if u reali loved mi,
u should led mi go at that point of time, but u didnt
.
u wan mi, but u dun need mi,
touch ur heart..i'm just an object
.
u loved mi, but i loved someone else,
u just didnt wish tt someday, i belong to him
u just wan mi to be urs
no matter how hard u try,
no matter how hurt i got,
no matter how upset i was
all u wan, was just mi..
u didnt mind my heart belongs to him,
as long as u have mi by ur side,
no matter i'm unhappy or happy or not..
as ur wish..i'm with u..tt's all
.
"tt's nt love silly"-"亲爱的,那并不是爱情~"
yea, i wanted him so badly too,
until e day i gave up..
den i noe i started to realli love him..
so at e past times, wasnt love at all
.
u also could tell,, tt in e future,
our story might be an opp way...
cos i starting to fall for u,
and i put in my heart,
but u alr have mi by ur side,
so u wun care anything anymore becos i'm alr urs
.
.
放弃并不代表不喜欢,喜欢并不代表要拥有...
其实,也只是害怕失去~
.
.
u led mi believed wat love is
when love is actualli just a lie
it's nt ur fault my dear
it's becos..
"love" is just sth tt to make u feel like heaven
and den throw u heavily on e floor..
the deeper ur love is, the deeper u'll fall
"FALL in Love" ~

以前一直藏在心里的话？

仔细看看你自己的心
如果你放弃不了他的话
那就紧紧抓住他
如果他不爱你的话
那就干脆一点放手
不要再想他了
只是个二选一的选择
有很难吗？

真的要将一个人从心里完全删除
那只有完全不喜欢才做的到
一旦喜欢上一个人
不管是选择放弃 或是坚持
那都是由不得自己的
二选一好像很容易
但其实根本就没那么简单
一个人的心是很复杂的
我的心复杂到有好几百种
有的叫我期待
有的叫我割舍
有的叫我放弃
有的又叫我勇敢
你叫我仔细看看自己的心
但是我连我哪颗心是对的 都不知道
你了解这种感觉吗

under your wings

“爱无限”插曲，album not released yet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aQmRFmL9wY

partly of e lyrics from e drama:
...
(missing)
...
for who i was no matter what
the smile he gave me
we would never be apart
under your wings i am forever
under your open skies i soar
because your love for me was everything
i needed to be strong
i'm always home
under your wings
under your wings i am forever
under your open skies i soar
because your love for me is everything
i need now to be strong
i'm always home
i'm always home
i'm always home~

we belongs to one anothers=]

idiot:
"i'll still ended up with u de la dun worry"
after this time u came over,
i felt u're important to mi..
just like few weeks back when i was day dreaming
about who to save 1st if it's e end time,
also meaning who i would like to be with for e eternal life
i chose u mahx=] cos onli u can treats mi like this true
love mi like this crazy, i'll be very super uber 幸福=]
being loved by u is e happiest thing of my life
we gt quarrel, we gt argue, we gt alot issues to solve
but we're just 命中注定~
.
.
and after all i agree to marry u and confirmed e date
becos i realize myself have alr fallen for u
.
i promised u i wun leave u unless e person was him
i promised i wun marry u until e day he's no longer in my heart
,
he was just an imagination, i had woke up from tt "dream"
i realise i was so wrong alr.
.
i love u dadar
2011-1-19 will be e date, i totally belongx to u=]
.
i dun wan to "miss" u anymore
cos i dun wish to lose u
i gonna be mine! forever~

sweet sweet ~

today chinese V-day =.=!
when buy boots and shopping..blablabla
did my nails..
permanent meti=D last more than 1 month^^
suit mi this kinda always pluck nails de gal=.=!
den went a pub...boss singaporean sio O_O
haha..nice chats~

friday e 13th

as usual, nth big happen today
every year is e day before this day is black
..
today earli in e morning daddy lobang mi go out
meet his "sachiko" for lunch at town area
den walk walk shop shop
end up we decide to go k box since weather too hot
and can spend 3 hours waiting for dad..idea~=.=V
haha, e stuffs there see us like special also (Y)
attitude uber good, much better than i used to go
still ask mi fill e comment letter, LOL!
just nice, i wrote it when we were singing=p
den daddy came fetch us go eat huo guo
god damn jap beef 118RMB and 288RMB, wth D=
den hor,, we start to talk, about mum and stuff
from 6pm eat till 11pm=.=! dinner cum supper..LOL!
den reach home everything normal, nth happen
sleep~

e day before friday e 13th

talked to dad ytd when on e way back about his r/s with mum
seems like they realli did being "tgt" for e sick of mi
since when i was 5...good game
and so he say now i grow up le,
if she wants a divorce or watever..up to her
wells..i said just let her be bahx
being unreasonable and more and more stubborn and strange recently
i got e feeling sooner or later it would happen
...
yup, today she so call finally open her mouth "talk" to mi
e 1st was about her fren de son de r/s with my fren
WTF?!! get e fk out of them..
why can't u parents leave us alone?
their love journey havent even get ready kn broke by u all
wat e hell right..
and if care about how good my fren's personality jiu sua
wat she was asking is about her family back ground
and wat her parents doing...WHAT?!!!
this is ridiculous! !
wat's e matter with u all, we are not kids anymore
... wells here we go e "war"
talk till my sis side..
i said out all was on my mind
e words which i didn't wish to let her hear
cos i was afraid to hurt her, never e less she still my mum right
but she forced mi to tt point..i'm done
yup, ended up she did mention a "divorce"
ya la ya la wan divorce jiu divorce la
separate also good for each others
...
and some idiot made mi fking angry also
why can't u just learn e lessons when each and everytime we quarrel
ya issue might be small, but plus tgt u are making e similar mistakes
i got enough..
i realli got tired of EVERYTHING

today wat date ah?LOL!

Daddy came home earli from work
just to fetch mi go hospital see eyes=.=V
i ren-ed so long cos dun wan to go see doctor=/
but boh bian=.= still have to D=
so sad~LOL!
reach there onli let doc see onli ask mi go eye injection=.=
gg-ed...but e doc like a pretty sio =X nurse also=pPp
wa biang! e injection FKING PAIN sio!!！＠＃＄％＆＊ wuwuwuwuw T_T
i tot my eye bleed-ed D= or blinded=.=!
den after e so call "small surgery" go back let doc check again
i ask her whether is it becos of contact lens infection
she say partly onli,
guess wat=.= e main reason shocked mi
i tot i hear wrongly also=.= lucky dad nv hear clearly
she said is becos i cried too much since.....？ermmm=.= wth
aya fk care it=.= i onli noe it's painful T_T

so girls, wan cry cry but dun cry everyday so hard ok
if nt like mila like tt gone case alr=.=\/
lala~

.
lol! i dun even noe today wat date=.=!Zzz
time ah time, can pls fly pls~=(

"a little pain" in chinese=.=!

travel to the moon
你沉睡著梦渐行渐远谁也看不见
闪烁的光
任我掌控

为了变得更坚强
那遗忘的笑容
只要是两个人一起努力
必定能再展露

※愿你知道
i'm here waiting for you
即使我们身处不同的未来
i'm here waiting for you
一直呼喊著
必定可以找到
那连系彼此心意的命运之线
并将我从沉睡中唤醒
no need? to cry

travel in silence
仿佛伸手便能触及
你却如此遥远
原来只是回忆中的残影

听见你的声音
只要闭上双眼
就连微弱的苦楚
也令人爱怜

愿你看见
i'm here waiting for you
即使身陷风中独自迷茫
i'm here waiting for you
我的心
永远向你敞开双臂
直至曾经的你
回首的那天
no need? to cry

wide open ears
disarm the dream tickler
in the constant moment
let the blood flow
through all the spaces
of the universe

愿你知道
i'm here waiting for you
即使我们身处不同的未来
i'm here waiting for you
一直呼喊著
必定可以找到
那连系彼此心意的命运之线
并将我从沉睡中唤醒
no need? to cry


lonely lonely lonely endless

$=/=rich

let's talk about e "ah xia kia"
born in a rich family,
nv had any hardships since young
wan wat got wat,
wan money take from parents
so wat if u gt money?so u think u are rich??
actualli u are as poor as a beggar
.
parents wanting thier child to be e No.1
give this lesson tt tuition since kindergarten
all they wan to see is a success person in e future
but actualli they are just spoiling thier child
when love becomes over dote, everything's too late
.
i admit i ate silver spoon when i was young
but i had realise i have to be myself
they give mi a life but i have to live on my own way
,
yea if i wanted something and they just buy for mi
of cos i will be happy, but tt "happy" last forever??
we dun have e childhood as e normal family
now i think back,
how i wish i could ever be in a common home
.
wells, it's nv too late to wake up ur mind
start everything from zero
.
i just can't bear to see those guys whom
showing off how rich they are,can have alot things
which normal ppl can't affort.
"it's not about e guitar, it's about e guitarist"(by my fiance)
ya so wat if u gt all e branded stuff
and nowadays ppl says:
if u're holding a fake LV bag, ppl might tot it's real,
if u're holding a real one,ppl maybe still will think whehter it's fake
LOL! for wat keep wasting money on such lame shit=.=!
talk aboout quality, last time e chiong one seiously scary,easy2spoil
but now,look at e fake one, sometimes even better=.=!
(eg: Gucci hp accesorries, e real one wear long liao will qi mao
but e chiong one wun-.-)
maybe is becos i dun siao brands tt's why i dunno e feel
but even if i realli realli like a brand's stuff
save up using my own hardwork money to buy 1 still ok mahx
or i could just do is-"daddy~~ i like e blablabla and bla"
den i will get it? happy meh??
.
i ate silver spoon grown up still alright
look at my cousin who ate golden spoon de,
parents busy about their own business,
so wat if they earning million US dollars every year
"throw" their child to grand parents since young
my mum was a housewife so she was still free to look after her
sometimes we wasnt tt free, she was all alone
all she do was just study, and study
give her a book she can sit there for e whole day
she dun need any luxury, she wun ask for anything else
i nv realli seen a real smile or laughter from her before
no one cares about her feeling, no one noes wat's one her mind
but at least, all she noe is just study
and goal-ing toward being a lawyer in e future.
her parent didnt give her much money
her spending is much lesser than mine since young till now
eventhough she wasnt happy cos her parents always can't be with her
but as e life journey she used to it, and being independence
she didnt have happiness, but she got a great future=]
(all e best to her)
.
anyway, back to e point,
to those childe who still shaking leg
and being a black sheep as a 败家子
i just wish u can wake up asap
ur money is from ur parents, not urs
from a rich family doesnt means u're rich
whether u happy or not
above is my thoughtx

[[straight to e point-tt's mila;)]]

Tues

i dun understand y some ppl just wun learn from e mistakes
why can't they just grow up?
those xmm xdd puppy love lub here lub there nvm
adualt alr still behave like a kid
tsk tsk~
saying how innocent how poor thing u were
from keep changing partner
fked more than 5 gals within a short period of time
and saying wanna be serious in r/s?
lol xmm also wun believe
.
.

when u treat them good, with sincere,
they wun see cos they dun have eyes
u help them with big problems
even if they thank u but forget all e way asap
cos they gt no lan pa,
u could just dun bother and let them dead..
u scold them wan to wake them up,
they dun give a fk or even bites u
cos they are worse than a loyal dog
.
.
dun ever step onto my toe
human got patience
i had reached my limit
so tt's it
=)

love?

love，99% all fake
only 1%，which is real de
is pain，
pain is real and true
but the funny thing is,
u wun find any cuts on ur body,
u wun bleed,
but this kinda pain,
would bite u deeply and wun let go
till, bite ur heart out
u den will break away from e pain
dun have heart, u wun pain

再忍一下，
我就不痛了
.
.
.
in e love game,
only gt 2 kind of person
one side is a fool(dumb)
one side is a faker(liar)
true <3 is just like e chips
who use true heart 1st,
is e dumb
,
if wanna be e winner of e love game
e onli way is be a super swindler
not onli to bluff others,
but to bluff urself too...

去他妈de爱情_|_=.=
LOL!

Monday morning

since everyone's wondering why
and wat on earth i'm thinking
and wat's on my mind
i gonna talk about it now
.

ya, i noe to u iz realli unfair
and i'm being selfish,
but e main reason is becos i swore to myself
,that he would be e last1 ever...
and tt's why,
i'm being with u,.
simply becos u can love mi with all u can
doing watever things that i want to
...
he's stoopid cos he nv treasure some1 who love him with all her<3 truly,
i dun wan to be like him cos i dun wish to lost some1 like tt
and end up regreting about it
why not just keep it now
.
ever since i knew tt mi and him is freaking impossible,
and tt's why i tgt with u
i could forget him den be with u,
but i didnt...
cos i just dun wish to lost someone like u
i noe once i missed it, it will be gone forever
it seems very very bad, like i'm using u to forget him,
but i'm not doing tt,
i can't give u a promise when i can forget about him
i can't promise u when i can have u as e onli one in my heart
but i can promise u tt i wun regret for being with u
.
everytime we quarrel or argue over thingys
or i get mad over u,.
we all noe e reason behind
just tt u nv ask, i nv say..
but u noe tt i will tell u anyway
cos tt's e way i am
.
of cos i hope u can change to a better one
more mature...better in everything
but the only thing that i dun wish to happen is
dun ever change ur heart.
tt's all i wan now
and tt's enough..
.

i still rmb u did told mi,
u wun let me go even if i found someone else
unless, e person is him
yup,.we all noe tt this wun be happening
so e same to mine,
that wun happen too
=)
=))
=)))
i told mi "smile"
so do u=]

random-fashion?

wat is realli call fashion?
keep following e "流行"?
i got no idea wat so nice about lady gaga,wonder girls
or even e korean stuffs nowadays
everyone's talking about korea things
korea hot gals?
just that e legs are longer or the face sweeter?
all fakers=.=!Zzz
japan:化妆美女
korea:整容美女
so ppl are just loving e "mask"
the packing of e present?
.
nowadays, wat do u find in e shopping mall?
those shoes, cloth, dress, specs, blablabla
watever u can find on e "stars" body
u can always find it on e streets=.=!
and tt's why i hate shopping nowadays
i can't find anything tt i like
even if i found sth tt i like even yrs back
u are seeing huge numbers of gals wearing=.=Zzz
sian 1/2
lolz!!!
or u found sth which "流行-ed" few yrs back
yea it would be cheaper of cos,
and u bought it wear on e street simply becos u love it
end up ppl saying u old fashion=.=!
.
come on,
why can't we ppl just wear or do e things we like
not follow e so called "fashion"
.
ppl who keep following e "流行“ will nv be "e one",
can onli be e "copy catx"..
.
so u think u very cool huh?~
-_____________-||
.
.
[this post above was just my personal thoughts=D
nth/no1 to be aimed at;)
i'm just being random=D]

thurs

things just doesnt goes well as e way we wanted
i'm so lost
and there's nth i can do right now
e government always going against mi
isnt it realli a mistake for being there?
everything's too late now
i just have to keep going
keep trying and trying just to get back there
and so i can move on and on
.
life was so healthy when i just gt here
night before 12 sleep morning 9am wake up
after e bad news was out,
couldnt fall asleep so earli anymore
lying on e bed eyes open bigbig
even close my eyes,
my brain just can't stop thinking and thinking
all e memories flash back
my eyes were always teary
wat can i do,
wat's next
wat's gonna be happen
where i belongx to
i realli dunno
God noes, but y is He always going against mi
why~

final decision

i'm tired of trying
sick of loving
...
i'm totally strengthles
..
so i decided to stop
and look at e person who love mi e most
there's no one like u
willing to do watever things for mi
loving mi with all ur <3
..
no one's perfect
no love's 4eva
but yet i found someone who love mi e most
being loved is much better than loving someone
yup...
i'm very 幸福 now=]
and we're praying to have a family soon=]


dar: tks for ur love,
ilu2~

tuesday(bored)

it's nt tt we can't,
it's see whether u wan or nt,.
no one can control ur emotion,
it's onli depends on urself~

true frenx are-
whenever u need help they'll try their best 2help u even they can't,..
normal frenx are-
go out tgt, have fun tgt whenever they/u feelx bored,
no trouble no betray no nth,..
fake frenx are-
making use of u, trying to betray u, doing things behind u....

wells, i dun expect there's much true frenx
cos there's nt much left in this world,
so normal frenx?who are they?~


I always dun share my feelings/xin shi out
not because i dun trust anyone,
is becos sometimes i ask myself,
wat if i say out,
to bluff myself feel better?
problem'll solve??thingy'll change???
tt's e reason why i always keep it to myself,
nt tt i dun wish to tell,
is there's no need to=]

.
.
[[didnt want to *miss* u, but yet i *missed* u]]

thurs

i noe wat i doing
i noe wat i wan
so i wun care how ppl thinks is their problem
and i can tell who's realli caring and who's kpo-ing
i always nv say not means i dunno
yes i did keep sth to myself somehow
but there's always a reason behind
becos.....
wat u see tt is it,
dun ever make it complicated
yet it's actualli very simple "mu di"=]
maybe no one will noe my heart
maybe someone would have guessed wat i doing
just let it be
silent speaks gold=]
everything happens for reason, simple is tt=]
.
.
[[=happy就好=]]

没那么简单

mum flying on Sun
and she going fren house stay tml
yup, i have to learn how to live alone
and fully be an adult now..
if everything success, start work on 3rd of May
i hope everything gonna be fine
currently i'm feeling e pressure alr
i noe it gonna be freaking tough & stress

一个人的生活真的不容易
事情不再会是那么的简单
如果将会是两个人来承担
我希望你不会是我的负担

i'm really tired of trying..

dark thursday

till around morning den sleep
didnt feel like sleeping at all
had e feeling sth's going wrong
was so blue and moodless,
my heart was making fun of mi,
i could even hear my heart beats..
lie on bed, forget hw long i used to fall asleep
an auto wake up on 16:00..the sky was like usual
as i lai chuang-ing...it turns darker and darker
till i couldnt see anything..
wake up on light...
look outside window it's going to rain
soft thunder sounds..
on pc..online..fb...1st think i saw was..(....)
i'm seriously speechless...
and it's so dramatic,.the rain just fall heavily
my mind was empty..blank...
the thunder become louder and louder
sounds like e lion roar
so near...it's nv been so near before
usually i'll scare or scream...
but i'm totalli feeless..
the lightning is just right outside my window
i could even feel the shakes
told myself to be strong while i noe i can't
expected, tears drop..out of controls...

it's around 2 days ago i just told mum abt him
she asked mi to give up sooner or later
wells i noe i must, but i'm so nt ready..yet....
and she's coming back now..
i'm have to sorrow down my tears
and hope..it would nv come back


i dun need alcohol nor anything to numb myself
becos,..i'm alr numb
.
.
.
she's back,.
she walked under e freaking rain,
just to bring e food back for mi
she fell down somemore..
i noe she loves mi more than anyone do
i wonder how am i going to survive without her soon
i forced myself to eat
while crying inside my heart
my eyes are wet..i'm trying very hard not to let it drop
dun drop ..pls

wat am i doing~?!

i always use *sth* to fill the vacuum inside my heart
but end up i'll still feel empty
can't i be independent abit more?
seriously i reflects on myself,
i realli can't be all alone
i'm nt a kid anymore,
i have to learn how to be an adult and,.
live alone...
i must..
but tell mi how
><
*haish*
.
.
.

[i noe we are impossible
but it's impossible to forget him,too]

wed

1st time go SSC walk walk
went eat den go daiso
like usual, buy alot things..lolz
damn random la
i saw one cute cherry keychain so i bought for shueting
den when i reach home suddenly wendi sms ask mi i like mickey is it
den i ask why she say she catching bearbear got a pair of mickey
LOL! funny la.. i bought some random stuff for some random person
den gt ppl more random than mi=.=V
stoopid karma-___-ZZz

Sunday

just kinda missing him badly today out of sudden
whole day was so blue
was reading my own blog pass year's posts
wondering why i still can't stop thinking about him
*sigh*
and when i realize sth not funny-.-V
as i always day dream abt him
there's sth so "coincident" happened
tsk tsk
seriously speechless ..
gosh, why gt such thing one..
and why is god always trying to make "fun" of mi=/sobx
how i wish i could realli.....
haish
forget it
it was just a dream


[好想,.好想....]

good friday

since today is good friday
went to a catholic church(st joseph) to have a look
wondering how it was like
wells it was very hot as every1 holding uber big candles=.=!
i nv see so many ppl surround a church before..lolz!
crowded till outside e church also gt ppl praying
hmmm maybe it's e onli church which
takes Jesus out from e cross and carry him around
-___-|| hmmmmm bwg
den had dinner at bugis den bus home le
tml is a busy and tiring day-.-V
good luck to mi
Zzz~

你知道（change from ’知道‘）

他让我憔悴许多
他让我不知所措
他的一举一动我不停的对你说
你微笑倾听我说
你却越听越心痛
怎么我说的不是你
他比你多了什么
让我愿意耐心等候
你想知道他让我痴心是什么
你想知道他让我疯狂为什么
你知道做的和他非常不同
但是你 却不在我的心中 逗留
你想知道他哪里比你好很多
在我心中他和你有什么不同
我知道你比他付出的还多
可是你 总换不了我的 心动
他让我憔悴很多
你让我不知所措
他一举一动我的心被牵着走
他不经意的走过
我就把你给冷落
嫉妒把你给吞没
他比你多了什么
让我愿意耐心等候
你想知道他让我痴心是什么
你想知道他让我疯狂为什么
你知道做的和他非常不同
但是你 却不在我的心中 逗留
你想知道他哪里比你好很多
在我心中他和你有什么不同
我知道你比他付出的还多
可是你 总换不了我的 心动
你知道了他哪里比你好更多
在我心中你永远不可能会让我心动
我知道你比他付出的还多
可是你在我心中没有他多

omg u call that "love"?!

after so many things happened
wat else u wan from mi?!!!
wtf i stil can do?!!
keep telling mi u can't live without mi
omg pls u are adult nt a kid
keep saying u realli love mi
omg so u think u make a person gone mad,
gone crazy, dead drunk, fking stress and pissed
u call that love?!!!
i think u dun even noe wat's e meaning or love&hate kid
come on la..
when can u wake up ur idea sia
so if u think this is call "love"
den i rather u "hate" mi better
to give mi peace=.=!
telling u true 道理 u dun wan listen
stil stubborn thinks that wat u been doing is right
den wat u wan mi to do sia!!!!
hundred of ways i used
thousand of excuse u gave
freak~~~u fking win ok,.
u win the biggest nightmare of my life..

this could be the 101th time i'm telling u
love can't be force
if u love mi pls stop irritates my life!
get away from mi!

women&men

saw this in a drama show
kinda funny..lolz
here it it:
there are many different kinds of condition
but there's definitely no perfect women
generally,
pretty but can't cook
can cook but can't gentle
is gentle but doesnt have an opinion
has an opinion but isn't feminine
those who are feminine will spend money recklessly
those who dun spend, dun noe how to dress up
can dress up but can't trust
can trust u absolutely can't look at
conversely
men are same
those who are talented, are ugly
those that are hot, dun noe how to earn money
if they're rich, they dun care about family
those who care about family are useless
those who are not useless are not romantic
those who romantic, u can't depend on
those who are dependable must be a good-for-nothing
.
if u dun make an effort,
even if u have money,
u will be a stupid person kn used in e end,.
no matter how handsome u are,
if u dun use ur sincerity
u can onli be a 'ornamental vase'
.
.
about fans:
the person who wait for u at the airport is a fan
the person who hides under ur blk is a psycho
some one who wants to kiss u is a fan
the person who wants to lick u is obsessed,.
u cannot ignore those crazy & obsessed ones
in case they may turn love into hate,and even commit suicide
but also can't use conventional reasoning
if they think that u're in love with them
and expect u to marry them, den u're doomed

seriously gone mad

hey fker!
u win liao k
made mi crying just becos can't simply fking sleep properly
since u this fker keep fan-ing mi
wan find mi talk,
u dun wan sleep ppl wan sleep one ok!
u understand human language?
wan talk talk to ur own cock la fker
u didnt get my attention for hurting or killing urself
why not u just die instead!!!!
give mi peace can?!
if u got no life i got mine
stop trying to step into my life
get away from mi!!
can't u just leave mi alone?!
ur behavior realli damn childish and nonsense
stop pushing mi to e limit can?!!!

[gosh, why got such human on earth]

goodness sick

pls la
wake up ur idea la
21 alr not 12 u noe
why stil so childish!
"why u dun even care when i cut myself"
omfg..stil gt face to ask why dun die instead
the more u do the more irritate i get
stop it la attention seeker..yeeer
stil wan my care?
please, human got 耐心 one ok
if u stil keep on doing these
u think i will care till tml?a year?a life?
SIAO!
i'm telling u i dun fking wan bother u at all
can u just freaking leave mi alone!?!
u say wan be my shadow
but i DUN need this fking shadow with mi!
留你在身边对我来讲只有坏处没好处
to mi u are onli a 傀儡
i'm not doing cherity
currently to u i might be e world
but to mi u are a wall
ROAR!
get lost!
.
.
.
[i thank u if u realli love mi
pls leave mi and let mi go]
becos i can't love u AT ALL

fking piss off

!@#$%
some ppl just making mi damn sick
tell u 100 over times i wun like u
stil doing childish and brainless things
seriously from the moment i "wake up"
i dun believe in anything u said AT ALL
everything u do just making mi 反胃
pls la, sometimes things which u do
alr over much or even fake
i nv say nt means i nv realize or dunno
sometimes it's just way too obvious la
..
watever u do i also wun change heart one
ya u noe my weak point
but it might work 1 time but not everytime
i didnt wanted to hurt u it's becos of guiltiness
cos i didnt wan e 悲剧 repeating again
but that does not means i will like or love u
so please stop making mi hate u!
love can't be forced!
i DUN love u and starting to DISLIKE u alr!
so pls stop it K!
YA! in my eyes&heart there's ONLY him!!!
nt any1 else! and u noe it freaking well!!
so stop making things turns ugly!
...
"a fren is better than nth"
i hope u keep ur words
.
.
.
[ROAR!~]

ORD LO

last exam
last day of school=]
say byebye to ite^^

wells..my life now is all about
.."waiting"..-_-!
waiting for poly result
waiting for jurong shipyard contract
waiting for...nth=D
LOL!
ya back to slacker life
i'm free but my brain is nt free
lolz can't stop thinking about things
gonna explode anytime=.=
.
.
.
[stuck in no where,i'm no body]

feeless

before i wake up
recieve ah chew's call
"finaly yr project tml last day,
pls hand in to mi by tml"
well well well...okieeeee
watever..
den wanted get up for artiste training alr
wtf?-.-! something wrong with my leg
and my hand, can't even hold my hp properly
gosh!!!! wat da hell!!!!!!!!
1st day of training lehx..T_T
and i can't be there
die larrrrrrrr
den i msg ting
ting ask mi call laoshi
den i call..my voice sound so "funny"
wells...expected...-5 marks=,(
okie..well done angela
havent even starts -5 marks alr..gg la
.
.
.
after all
dunno why
suddenly feel so !@#$%^& ya very luan
my heart 七上八下
even had e thoughtx of giving up?
wat?! wat's wrong with mi
ya realli sth wrong
hikari and music is my dream
wake up ur idea mila><
.
.
.
.
[u are e one whom kept mi going,
i can't go on without u,
time pls fly pls><..i need u]
.
.
*I.M.M*

是我活该

just home from the "talk" with him
....
i feel so heartless
i noe i hurt u badly
it's also hard to be so cold blood
the way u beg mi..u even ****down in front of mi
pulling mi back and dun let mi go till i fell down
grab my hand till numb
all those **** things u did i dun even wanna bother at all
is becos i dun worth u to do all those
..
we really have to stop ALL..full stop
i really can't be with someone i can't love
while my heart belongs to another
it's unfair
i noe u dun mind but i carex
..
sry i really can't
u ask mi dun leave u
but i just can't stay
but i will not leave u..as a close one=fren
whether u can take it or nt
it's up to u to decide now
我闯出来的祸，我会承担的
i deserved this shit




[[i'm a heart breaker]]

stop

i really have to stop this shit i had been doing
it's just like a day dream
i felt like sudden awake from the "nightmare"
wat e hell was i doing?
wat was i thinking... i dun even noe who i was
i was lost.. didnt noe wat to do
and just carried on e mistake
deeper and deeper
and now i realize i'm so wrong
ya i have to face it now
the fact is i can't do it anymore
everything has to come to e end
so let's stop


-[[frozen]]-

cny

due to laziness of mila
no post for cny=pPp
photos all in fb ^^








[[MisSing uUu]]

monday

yaya came school fetch mi
den as just a suggestion i feel like going IMM
so went there walk walk...
eat le went daiso
lolz..as usual,.
if i go in daiso sure cannot control one
keep buying things=.=
den we make ourself out of daiso as fast as we can
LOL!..end up stil bought 17 items=.=zzz
den walk around...nth much to walk alr
went back yishun..walk north point..LOL
den chit chat under my blk
went home kinda earli..lolz

sat/sun

today lesson earli
den after lesson follow laoshi go one event
slack sio..lolz...
den meet yaya jojo $ xiaodi under blk
cab down yaya's dashixiong there
sang 2 dual..jon tio saboh also..lolz!
..
den earli in e morning
jamming 9am-1pm den follow by 3pm-7pm
wtf=.= whole day without spirit
damn tired..nt feeling well too=/
waiting for ma back
hope tml can wake up for school=.=!

friday

yaya came school fetch mi
change liao go meet kaze
do iphone things..
den go suntec walk walk
eat eat
went chinatown awhile
go home le=]

ma ar maaa

12 plus alr mum stil havent reach home
call her nv pick up
call again she kap my phone
den after awhile she call mi
i ask her,
"where are u nw?",
"errr clark quay..why",.
"so late at clark quay do wat?",
"bring ur relative go there play",.
"wat time come home?",
"soon",.
"help mi dabao",
"ok coming back now le"...
.
around 2am
they are back..
i asking while eating,
"go clark quay do wat",
"play lor",.
"play wat la",
"walk walk lo",.
"huh?!",
"sing song",.
"sing song??!!",
"listen ppl sing song",.
"wat?!!!",
"aya e ladies no need money one de lor",.
"ladys night la!",
*silent*..
"they wanted stay there longer bt u call say wan dabao so come back le"
*silent*
.
.
.
cool huh,
daughter quits clubbing
mum starts it
wtf is this man~!@#$%
now her turn to go out "play" le?
my turn to (.....)
Zzz

[[speechless]]

wed

forced myself to school thou tired
after school go home change meet ya at north point
went cine find xavier, eat den shop at town
den went far east and bugis .
gosh, shop like mad..
i seriously have to stop it alr =.=! LOLz!

monday

yay i nv go school again. lolz
wake up meet jon and xiaodi ..jon rent car
den go fetch yaya
went queenstown shopping
nth much to shop actualli
den send xiaodi to school 1st
went bugis shop..
den go fetch xiaodi from school
den go fetch small gal from work
den go eat at newton..den go marina slack
lolz..den send small gal home
den went sk slack awhile
den go eat prata
den go home=.=
.
.
tired!!stil thinking whehter wanna go school=.=

random

世界一直一直变 地球不停的转动
在你的时空 我从未退缩懦弱
只想轻轻对你说
我的温柔 只想让你都拥有

我的爱只能够 让你一个人独自拥有
我的灵和魂魄 不停守候在你心门口
我的伤和眼泪 化为乌有为你而流
藏在无边无际 小小宇宙 爱你的我

你听见了吗 我为你唱的这首歌
是为了要证明 我为了你 存在的意义

爱你的我 不能停止脉搏
为了爱你奋斗 就请你让我 说出口


[[hear my heart, feel mi~]]

wed

went town with ahya
walk here and there
saw his fren again and again..lolz
den go play pool..haha funny thingy
den meet my "ex gf" at far east
lolz!..den go back 925 slack
blablabla
i become more and more lazy to blog alr=.=Zzz

tues

nv go school!
mila's sick sick sick
fluflu fever~~
=(((
stay at home whole day
play piano
haix..feel so sux now
so hard to pick up a new song
can't even find e cord somehow
....haish
where's my soul of music
when can i find it back

.
.
lolz mummi bought crocodile tail from her workplace
and she tot i dun dare to eat..lolz!
wrong! yummi~=p

sun

hardly wake up
didnt want to go out
cos not feeling so good
but dunno which idiot say if i nv go he dun wan go also
=.=!Zzz
den go prepare..mum nag nag nag
blablabla..
den took cab..jam den jamming..lolz
ya watever..LOL
after jam take photo blabla
den watch the "tooth fairy"
den blablabla
LOL..
yawn~~~
gonna sleep soon
tml need to do project
lalalala..
oyasumi~

Fri

heavy rain in e morning
ejan acc mi walk to school
den pe lesson end earli
dabao go learning cove
ya! blast music
lying on e sofa..shiok
den lesson awhile onli
go home liao=.=
reach home online awhile
took a nap
wake up prepare meet ahya
den meet jimmy and another band member at ps
went eat..
den pei them go jamming
jimmy!gambatte on ur drum! Xp
den went for drink at ahya's fren pub
nv drink much=]
den his da shi xiong suddenly come ask mi
whether can sing with their singer "ni zui zhen gui"
since they today short of lady singer
den ok lo..but end up gt one customer wan sing
become mi sing "wu ding"=.=Zzz
den after tt i tot finish alr
but the singer ask mi sing one song alone?!
gosh!..stun=.=
end up i choose "xin bu liao qin" since there's no other lyrics
1st time sing with a guitar=]
wow his da shi xiong realli good sia
play so great la
1st part slow and soft,2nd part like jazz
cool!!! so shiok man!!!
so enjoy with e rhythm
this was e 1st time i sing on e pub stage
1st time no stage fright at all=]
..i ask ahya i sing ok nt=.=
he say this was e best "xin bu liao qin" he heard
ya i noe he's an wei-ing wo
LOL! but tks ya=]
den his fren tot i'm their vocal=.=!
nahx..den surprised that kaze said "hope so"
nahx i dun think i gt time for a band bahx=]
and den he ask i sing at where or which band
NAH! lolz! i sing in Hikari!=D

.
den blablabla
blablabla and bla
lolz
.
.
[ahya, pls dun give up urself
dun give up on hope
be more positive
no matter wat
life stil goes on=]

thurs

met ahya at cityhall
went to see his guitar things and wat so ever
den "shop" abit went suntec for dinner
yup as wat my mum suggested=.="kuisin bo" again=D
ahya's treat Xp..
tks^@^V

Wed

went for afternoon lesson
since morning can't wake up=.=
den went hikari do things
but actualli like just chilling there
lolz!...
i'm tired! but i just ate mac=(
wan to sleep but scare fatfat..Xp
.
.
[jialat!there's a red red big pimple at e centre of my nose!=(((
realli become Mickey Mouse alr><>

tues

after school meet little gf for lunch
den go trim eye brown, intro by her
nice one=D
den she go work..i go home online
blablabla..
den meet ah ya for dinner at 18chef
den watch "e spy next door"
nice show^^
i must catch it as i wun miss any show of cheng long=p
had a long talk with him..yea..
den meet gf at 925 after her work
and i'm home now
feel so not ok..and mum's nt home
i think i better take medi and go sleep
ya
nitex